Party Favors

I've been getting ready for the summertime backyard party season (shakes head slowly) so imagine my elation when I happened upon this Tweet tonight:




Really wanted to write something else first, but I've just gotta point out a couple of things about that note in the picture.  First of all, the homeowner needs to be honest here.  How about a note that says "I'm too lazy to fix this." or "If someone would walk through the screen we could just get a whole new door."?  I'm not being critical of the door remaining unfixed; I don't fix things either.  But c'mon, don't try to justify your laziness with a "And that's okay." qualifier.  Celebrate your sloth, as I would, with a note like "I stopped caring about stuff like this years ago.  And THAT'S okay!"  Also, whoever hung the note doesn't give a rip about their door not working properly, but they've used a massive piece of industrial strength tape to make sure the note stays put.  Priorities.

Other than those quibbles I'm loving the idea of hanging notes everywhere every time I host a party (never) and have been brainstorming where I'd hang them and what I'd say.  When I entertain guests (still never) they see four areas of my house - patio, kitchen, living room, bathroom.  The rough draft of what my guests would need to know for each potential party spot goes a little something like this....

Patio
"The strawberries are delicious!  Hands off."
"Remember, take time to stop and smell the flowers.  After you've weeded them."
"This chair is for the skinny guests."
"The smell of rotting vegetation is coming from the tub of rotting vegetation."

Kitchen
(on the microwave) "I was clean last month.  I'll be clean again next month."
(on the fridge) "You have three seconds to close this door once it's open before KABOOM!"
(on the mirror above the sink) "Say hello to tonight's dishwasher."
(everywhere) "Everything gets recycled or reused."
(everywhere else) "Everything."

Living room
"Do not disturb the dust."
"The plants are real.  They only look dead."
"Help yourself to snacks.  They are between the couch cushions.  Probably."
"The antlers are to be admired, never touched."

Bathroom
(on the TP roll) "Everything gets recycled or reused."
(on the cabinet door that doesn't close all the way) "I stopped caring about stuff like this years ago."
(on the bottom cabinet drawer) "This is where you'll find what you're snooping for."
(on the mirror) "Say hello to tonight's toilet scrubber."

And one final note....which would actually be the first note....to save all my guests from any confusion while at my gatherings:

Front door
"Wrong house."