Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Trash Panda

As I write this the state of Minnesota, and much of the nation, is watching with awe as a raccoon rests on a 23rd floor ledge after scaling the side of a really tall building in St. Paul.  I'll pause a moment to let that statement sink in.

Am I alone in finding this whole raccoon thing absurd?  I have two thoughts on the masked bandit that has captured a nation's attention: 1) Big deal.  and 2) Why hasn't anyone shot it?  No, really - how hard would it have been to snipe it from the street when it was only a couple of stories up?  And once it got higher couldn't someone just reach out a window with a broom or yard stick and knock it on the head?  'Cause remember - It's.  A.  Raccoon.

Vile creature, the raccoon.  Rabid.  Destructive.  Sneaky.  Aggressive.  If you read this blog often enough it should become clear how much I love and respect nature.  But not raccoons.  Take a second to search for "benefits of raccoons".  Then take less than a second to read all the results....that's right, there aren't any!  Ok, fine, a few 'coon huggers will try to tell you that raccoons help us by keeping small pest populations in check.  That's weak, especially when the damage raccoons cause far outweighs any "pest control" they do.  So yeah, death to raccoons.

Come on, America, ignore the raccoon.  The rest of the world already thinks we're a bunch of dopes for the way we've let our government become overrun with rodents and vermin.  Why provide more proof of our collective dimwittedness by standing around staring at, and cheering for, a pesky mammal?  Look away.....just look away.

Because once you're not looking someone can kill it.  (insert evil laughter here)

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