Two days ago I closed the book on this school year's sports seasons. Yesterday being the final day of the school year for students I wrote a letter to myself so when school starts again in the fall I can better remember some of the things on my mind right now. Today it all ended - one final workday for teachers before summer vacation officially started, and my twentieth year of teaching came to a close.
People outside of education naturally assume the end of a school year is a happy time. In some ways they're right - what's not to love about starting three months of no alarm clocks and minimal clothing requirements?!? But far too often, in so many ways, these last few days of school are really, really hard to enjoy.
Our district said "goodbye" to ten retiring employees today. After twenty years I was familiar with all of them; there were some I rarely interacted with, some I knew very well. Or at least I thought I did. Each was introduced with a brief recitation of some highlights from their original application letters and resumes, and suddenly these people I knew so well were complete strangers. One played college volleyball, one was a collegiate cheerleader, one had travelled the world prior to teaching. I knew none of this. How sad that we spend decades with people and hardly get to know them. How brief twenty years feels now that those folks have, for all intents and purposes, walked out of our lives for good. Happy, happy, happy for each of them upon reaching this milestone, but so very empty to look ahead and find them gone from our midst.
Today was moving day in our building, which was odd because we just moved into the place last fall. But some grade level teams were mixed up a bit, as was my Title I department, so about a dozen of us spent the day packing and carrying and dumping and throwing and lugging and carting and sweating and walking and climbing and huffing and puffing. We got a lot done, but most of us will be back next week to finish, so calling this the last day is pointless. Oh, and by "finish" I mean "organize stuff good enough for now." Carpets have to be cleaned, of course, so nothing can be arranged yet. Which means in to school early in the fall to get our rooms set. Having a disorganized room hanging over you puts a damper on the enthusiasm of the end. Despite the laughs we had at times today it wasn't what most people would consider a happy day. Especially so for some.
The end of a school year means performance evaluations and data analysis, and sometimes those procedures don't end favorably for staff members. It's tough to enjoy the last day, or days, when teammates are hurting. And it happens every year. The irony is heavy - we work to make sure students can head to summer with a positive end to the year yet have to watch teammates suffer because the same courtesy is lacking among the adults. Year. After. Year.
And those years have really added up in a hurry. Twenty years. My mentor from my first year was one of the retirees today. When I started she was nearly where I am now - where she is now I will never be. The first twenty years of my teaching career have careened past in a blur; I am certain there will not be another twenty, and if there are they will not all be at my current district. All of these realities and certainties are a heavy load, made heavier by the days events.
So yeah, a three month vacation is gonna be great in a lot of ways, and you had better believe I'm glad to be starting it. But first I, and many of my teammates, will need a day or so to settle in while the stresses and pains and dark clouds of these "happy last days" of the school year fade away.
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