Clean as a slobbery whistle

I'm pretty good at cleaning.  Not sure if it qualifies as a "talent", necessarily, but if there are cleaning competitions out there (and really, with as many ridiculous ways we Americans find to compete why wouldn't there be cleaning competitions) sign me up and start engraving my trophy.  I'm thorough, meticulous, attentive to detail, and so dang anal retentive I can't help but be successful at whatever it is I set out to spruce up.

But you know what I'm even better at?  Not cleaning.  You'll now notice the absence of the word "enjoy" in that opening paragraph.  The omission was not accidental.  Despite the glowing accolades I piled onto myself in those opening lines one would find, were one to visit my home.....which one will most likely not.....one would find scant evidence of my cleaning talents.  I do not live in filth, but my home is far from spotless.  An odd juxtaposition, is it not, a supreme cleaner living in less than a supremely clean home?

My problem is this:  If I clean it, I won't want to use it because then I'll have to clean it again.  If I use it, I don't want to clean it because I'll probably use it again.  The juxtaposition becomes a conundrum which leads to a paralysis that prevents spotlessness.  I wipe up spills and sweep up crumbs and wash dishes when I'm out of plates and do laundry when I'm out of......unmentionables.  But rolling up the sleeves and unleashing elbow grease onto the grime that slowly builds up in the nooks and crannies of room after room?  Ugh, not today, not tomorrow, and especially not next week.

My procrastination.....overstrategization......laziness is especially true with the job of dusting.  I hate hate hate dusting.  You know what happens the very instant you finish dusting an object?  It starts getting dusty again.  What's the point?  Why waste time removing something barely visible so it can be replaced by something barely visible?  So my house has dust.  Lots of it.  The picture frames, the tops of cupboards, the bric-a-brac on shelves, all covered in dust.  I figure the dust covering that chair in the corner is doubly positive - if it's on the chair it's not in the air, and as it sits on the chair it attracts even more dust out of the air.  I suspect the air quality in my home is phenomenal.

So if you come to visit my home....which, again, you most likely will not....you may be impressed by, at first glance, what appears to be a rather well kept abode by single guy standards.  But pull on your white gloves and start touching my stuff (though I'd rather you kept your hands off of my stuff) ((in fact, this whole idea of guests in my home was bad from the git-go, so we're gonna end right here)).

This was day 2 of #The100DayProject I wrote about yesterday.  Did you find today's word?  I used a lot of not-so-common big ones today.  Wanna quick go back and take a look?  Yesterday's word came from the A-section of the dictionary, hint-hint.  Ok, here it is:

bric-a-brac  noun  small articles of little value, often kept because they are old or curious rather than beautiful