Luckily we still have a few age-old milestones that hold nearly as much significance as they always have. Graduating from high school comes to my mind because it hardly ever leaves my mind anymore, as eldest offspring soon begins her senior year. With that senior year come many, many lasts....and tonight we observed the first one: the last night of summer league volleyball.
I won't rehash or link you to any of the numerous posts I've written here about my family's life as volleyballers. If you've read my ramblings long enough you know that the sport pretty much dominates our lives nearly all year long. Three years ago Daughter One was given an unexpected opportunity to play in a summer tournament; she performed well enough to be extended an invite to play in a weekly league the rest of that summer, and has continued to do so the following two summers. And tonight, that part of her career, that part of her youth, came to an end. No tears, no cake, no hoopla....a mini-milestone in the grand scheme of things. But it was the first of the lasts that are going to mount in frequency and emotion as the next ten months pass. So we took some pictures and I congratulated the dad whose only daughter is also a senior (his summer league days are over, lucky bugger) and we called it a night. No biggie. But yet....
Time slips away and leaves us with nothing. Daughter Two has three more years of summer ball and right on her heels will follow Daughter Three so I've got plenty of opportunities ahead of me to sit on bleachers in the summer. And, truth be told, I've never been a weekly attendee at the games - I make it to most but don't lose a lot of sleep if I have to miss a week now and then. Even now with Daughter One being done I'm not feeling any regret at missing those games. But tonight was a bit of a jolt, this first last, knowing that the march towards her big last, graduation, has begun. All the little pieces that make her who she is right now have begun to fall away - to be replaced by new ones in time, of course - taking the girl I love so much with them. I must have missed the chapter in the parenting manual that explained how hard this is going to be.
I no longer believe that time moves too fast. Time moves at exactly the right pace - it's we who move too fast. We are in charge of how we handle time, how we savor its moments. If you've got school aged kids or younger I'm not going to issue the standard cliches about their school years being over before you know it; I just don't think that's true. Yes, the days will pile up and suddenly become months before jumping together as years, but they will only fly by if we let them. Be present in the moments, meditate to memory the highlights, find ways to clear the schedules now and then, engage in conversations about the activities....and you'll find a peaceful (but still hectic) rhythm to a child's passage through your life. The lasts are going to arrive one way or another - they can appear too fast with regrets attached or they can be seen and prepped for, and enjoyed upon arrival. You're in charge of both options.
So with the first last in the books we look forward to the last first practice, the last first game, the last first day of school, the last parent night, and so on....and on and on and on. It's gonna be a tough year for Dad but I am so hopeful her year is nothing but wonderful. Since, as we all know, life after high school graduation is nothing more than a slow descent towards our own grave. Again with the greeting card material!
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| Daughters One, on the right, and Two played their final summer league games together tonight, and walked away with victories in both. |
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