This morning I had to be at church, or as I have come to know it, "an hour of my life I'll never get back." Daughter Two had to dress in a bathrobe and light candles during the service so there I was, stuck between an alter and an escape route.
Yes, readers, today I shall cut loose with my thoughts on religion, specifically the act of going to church. I've got only a handful of posts left before #The100DayProject is complete so I figure it's time to tackle some sensitive issues without fear of alienating my entire pool of followers. But frankly, there aren't many of you left anyway; my latest posts have received very few views, so apparently I've already driven away most readers. And now to do the same to the rest of you.
I don't like religion, and I don't like going to church. (audible gasp from the Bible thumpers) I'm not about to rail against those who choose to believe; the freedom to practice a region of choice is an important foundation of our nation. As is the freedom to NOT practice a religion, as is the importance of showing toleration towards both decisions....which is a supreme Christian virtue....which is odd since so many "Christians" have a hard time tolerating non-religious views. Oops, wasn't going to go that direction. I am also not intending to delve into my philosophies on religion and why it's not for me....not today anyway. No, today I write specifically about church and its oddities.
You should know that I've spent the greatest portion of my life attending church and all its extremities. As a kid I was a regular at Sunday school and Bible school (also known as "summer's longest, most painful week"), and as an adult I taught and volunteered at both. I've been to Bible camp (blech), youth group retreats (those were ok), played in church softball leagues, and even gone Christmas caroling. I've been baptized and confirmed as a Lutheran (uff da!), and later in life became quite involved in a Covenant congregation. My disdain for religion and church does not come from a lack of exposure or from ignorance; it comes from finally stepping away from what I now consider to be the brainwashing effect church attendance can have on people and viewing religion as an open-minded theologian versus a mindless drone who just keeps shuffling back to the same pew each Sunday.
So here's what I did to give you what I've got: I took notes throughout this morning's service. I wasn't planning to do that but in hindsight I bet it looked very religious for me to constantly be scrawling something on my bulletin, as if I were devouring the Holy Word as a true believer should. Ah, the irony, for my barely legible notes had little to do with scripture and everything to do with sarcasm, nitpicking, humor, and heresy. So, like it or not, this is what I thought about today's service (in a Lutheran church), and church in general. Remember, the truth shall set you free.
**Early in his sermon the Pastor talked about the book study he's doing which centers on ways to keep the church relevant with today's changing world. His sermon lasted 20 minutes and was nothing more than him talking at us - a lecture. In the education world lecturing is considered an out-dated and ineffective way of exchanging knowledge, and is nowadays viewed as a sin committed by teachers who have not had the wherewithal to advance and innovate their practices. Yet every church service I go to, regardless of denomination or geography, is built upon the lecture/listener model. And today's lecture...ahem, sermon, was on leadership! With the intro being how to bring the church up to speed with the rest of the world! Given in old-fashioned, traditional lecture format! Hello!?!! How about the leader lead some open discourse? The sermon had a terrific message about the disappointment leaders often feel and the importance of carrying on in the face of such hurt - how about eliciting and allowing for some modern, real world examples from the longevity of life (more on that in a minute) in attendance? This is a glaring example of one of my biggest problems with the church - say one thing, do another. "We want to get modern....but we're not going to change to do so." I realize the importance of tradition and not changing for the sake of change, but c'mon church - it's time to find a modern way to make traditional teachings resonate with your audience.
**Along those same lines, we chanted the same creeds and confessions and responses that Lutherans have been doing since before I was born. So there we go again: "We need to become more modern, but first let's confess our sins using the creed found on page 427 of your hymnal for those of you who can't quite remember the words we've been saying every Sunday for the past 500 years." I haven't regularly attended a Lutheran church for over 20 years.....and I knew every word of every chant in the service. So I ask you - how meaningful are words that can be spoken with no effort of thought? And if these words are truly going to bring change, why isn't there a celebratory feel to them? For instance, at the end of the confession of sin the Pastor used his divine power to declare all our sins forgiven. Silence. Crickets. Creaking bones. Shouldn't there be a "hip-hip-hooray" right there? Some high fives? At least a few sighs of relief? The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ was the most pivotal moment in Christianity's history, the moment when believers' sins would then and forevermore be forgiven. Doesn't that deserve more than a mindless chant followed by...nothing? Gah! The frustration!
**I loved the introduction of the scripture readings: "This is the second reading on the seventh Sunday after Pentecost taken from second Corinthians chapter twelve verses two through ten." The reader had to towel off and get a beverage before she could actually read said scripture. How about "Hey, I'm gonna read a little more, so listen up!"? That second reading, as well as the Gospel reading, contained extremely judgmental language towards groups of people.....divisive, condescending, possibly racist language. I'm as judgmental and intolerant as they come....but the hypocrisy of scripture bothers me. I'm astounded at how often scripture tosses aside the "love thy neighbor as thyself" mantra when it's discovered thy neighbor is not living thee life in the way thyself thinketh thee ought to.
**More scripture dissonance: In the sermon on leadership disappointments, Jesus was disappointed in the reactions to his teachings when he travelled to his home town. Hang on - the guy could perform miracles, was the son of God...wasn't he omniscient? Didn't he know what to expect from this stop along his tour of salvation? Maybe this is an example of my own shortcomings of Biblical proportions, but it feels like another example of convenient truth. Of which church and religion seem to be teeming with.
**Speaking of miracles, I witnessed one in my hour of spiritual immersion: A roomful of 70-80 year olds sat quietly and listened to someone else talk, and none of them argued or complained. Now THAT is one impressive piece of holy moly!
**I can't stand the offering. I don't easily part with my money, so the act of passing a plate and begging me to fill it with cash for reasons unexplained (beyond the tithing requirements of scripture....another convenient truth) is hard for me to tolerate, or participate in. So I sit, and I politely decline the extension of the plate, and I wait to be smote from above by lightning or brimstone. Oh, and here's some fun news - this church my daughters attend takes two offerings! And one of them is called a "noisy" offering, which adds an annoyance to the attempted robbery. At least the second offering is peaceful and a sign the service is nearly over.
**Also not a fan of passing the peace, the greeting portion of the service where one must shake hands with strangers, wish them well, and pretend to enjoy it. I'm not a germ freak, but yuck! I'm not exaggerating when I say 98% of this morning's attendees were 70+ years old.....and do you know how hygienically careful old people are? Regardless, I put on my best smile and thrust my hand into the hand of each stranger who cared enough to want to greet me.....including the old woman who almost made eye contact with me before seeing someone she really wanted to greet, at which point she withheld her wishes for peace in my life and bee-lined to whomever she deemed more worth her time than me. May the Lord have mercy on her rude and snobbish soul. I'm going to venture two guesses: she's there every Sunday, and I wasn't her first snub.
Believe it or not I jotted down some things I liked during my hour among the chosen people. Even though it was an ineffective lecture, the sermon message was solid and the Pastor a good speaker. Rather than stand behind a pulpit he stood among the pews to speak, and rather than read from notes he spoke from memory. So as sermons go it was a good one.....except for us not being allowed to utter a word.
I always love the benediction at the end of the service. The admonition to go in peace with the assurance that someone or something is watching over us as we do brings the entire church ordeal to a very tidy close.
There's never a dull moment when the pipe organ cuts loose on a classic church hymn. Despite elderly voices that still can't sing and every seventh organ note being wrong, the chorus of I Love To Tell The Story was pretty darned impressive. But then the organist decided to do a key change for the last verse and everything went all to.....well, you know.
After the service I got to visit with an old (which goes without saying by now, right?) friend whom I don't get to visit with nearly often enough. There are those in the world that are always, always a joy to talk with. They are rare, but they're out there. My old friend shares great stories, asks pertinent questions, listens to the answers, and never gets tiresome to be around. And as we wrapped up our conversation we noticed free cookies on the table behind us. Win-win!
To sum up, an hour of church isn't the absolute worst way to pass the time; root canals, staff meetings, and shoe shopping are probably a little more miserable. To be honest, the act of actually going to church isn't what bothers me the most. What really gets my sacrificial goat is the notion that those who attend church are somehow more spiritual than we who don't. Or the attitude that belief in, and worship of, a chosen god is better than a different set of beliefs. When I look at the actions within a church I see hypocrisy, half-truths, convenient truths, snobbishness, and false pretenses. Not from every single parishioner, but more than should be present in a house of holiness. So I'm done with that scene.
And I'm done with this post. Peanuts character Linus once said, "There are three things you don't discuss with people: religion, politics, and The Great Pumpkin." Sorry Linus, but I'm not heeding your advice. Today, religion. Tomorrow, taxes. Tuesday, politics. Wednesday, the 100th post. I'm guessing I'll be writing to about three of you by then. Thanks for reading. Peace be with you.
No comments:
Post a Comment