When I started teaching nearly 20 years ago I was given a glimpse of the future by those who had taught long enough to learn from the past. I was warned of the cyclical nature of education, how today's methods would become yesterday's news in about five years...only to return 20 years later with a new name. The vets also spoke of the many educational buzzwords that would fall from the heavens year after year after year....sometimes in cycles, oftentimes not, but never relenting. I've paid much closer attention to buzzwords than cycles, especially in recent years. I'm a word guy...it's what I do.
At the end of a recent doctor appointment the doc and I engaged in a brief conversation about education. Upon learning my profession he disclosed that he, too, held a teaching degree. He had never used it. He spoke of changes he had seen in kids and families over the years and I spoke my observations of the same. We exchanged theories on why the changes were so, why teaching continues to increase in difficulty. As noted, it was a brief chat. As I drove away I marveled at how a short conversation with someone I had never met before ended up being so intense, so engaging, so......comfortable. My conclusion as to why came down to one word: thoughtful.
Those buzzwords I spoke of have increased in volume over the last year. "Innovate" is big right now, as is "mindset" or "mindfulness"...which don't really mean the same but sound similar enough to justify sharing the same sentence. "Effort" was the key to being a successful student until "grit" took its place; recently I've seen "moxie" given higher importance than grit. All great words, all as important as the next in education, and life. Maybe it's time "thoughtful" started getting some educational buzz; our world seems in short supply of it - maybe we don't stress it enough in schools.
The three-minute conversation between the doc and I allowed for several exchanges of opinion and reply, but more importantly were the allowances for silence between each exchange. Both of us took pause before speaking, not only to prepare our next utterances but to absorb what the other had just shared. These pauses, this thoughtfulness - this was the foundation for a quality conversation enjoyed by both parties. (side note: I have to assume he enjoyed the conversation based on body language and tone of voice. I did not run back to the office and yell "Hey doc, did you enjoy our visit? Didjya? Huh, doc? That was pretty good talkin', weren't it?") Think about the last great conversation you had with someone - was it nonstop talking, or was silence, thoughtfulness, a key ingredient?
We teachers, having X number of days to teach 2X amount of material, tend to go heavy with the verbiage at the expense of thoughtfulness. Not that we speak without thinking, but I observe many teachers (including myself) saying far more than they/we have to because they/we don't pause for moments of thoughtfulness. Pausing, or waiting, feels like time being lost. We expect too many students to answer right now, either with time limits on work or rapid fire questioning or choosing the next raised hand before the first chosen tongue has had time to form a thoughtful answer. We are cultivating a culture of thoughtlessness.
Watch athletes get interviewed on television. Bless those guys and gals for how patient they are with the media...but listen to enough interviews and you'll notice most athletes say exactly the same things. Why? They begin speaking the instant the reporter stops asking. No thoughtfulness. I've found some of the best interviews to watch are with athletes who struggle with English - they have to carefully consider how to properly speak their answers, allowing for thoughtfulness to guide them.
Consider your favorite politician....and for the life of me, I can't imagine why anyone would claim to have such a thing....and the way he or she answers questions. I rarely pay attention to politicians, but when I do I shake my head at how rapidly they tend to answer questions. Shouldn't we expect our leaders to provide thoughtful answers? The only truly thoughtful politician I can recall was David Palmer....the President on the TV series "24". The man never answered a question without a deep breath and a pause....and he gave great answers. Ok, fine - he was a TV character who ended up with a bullet in the throat by season three. I'd still vote for him over any of the clowns in our current political circus....only because today's clowns aren't very thoughtful. And I loved "24".
Think of who you really enjoy visiting with. Do they talk the second you finish? Or worse, do they talk before you have the chance to finish? Or even worse, do they ever stop talking long enough to let you start? Anyone who converses in any of those ways lacks thoughtfulness - and how much do we really enjoy visiting with those kind of people?
Beyond conversation, how else does thoughtfulness benefit us? How about problem solving and decision making? Important skills, to be sure, not to mention frequently needed skills. Does our society make decisions with pause for thought, or are we prone to impulse? When problems arise do we go into thinking mode, or complaining and blaming mode? I see the latter options being used more and more frequently by the people in my world and people out in the world, making me wonder, again, if maybe thoughtfulness ought to be a life skill we stress more in school, a buzzword worthy of Twitter feeds and best-seller lists.
When my eldest daughter was confirmed at her church a few years ago the pastor chose a word to describe each confirmand. The word he chose for my daughter was "thoughtful". He explained that he didn't mean she was thoughtful in a "concerned about others" kind of way...though she was that, too. He had noticed that she rarely gave an answer or offered an opinion without first taking a moment to think about what she wanted to say. He was impressed by this skill. I, likewise, was impressed by his recognition that A) she had that trait and B) most folks don't. As I reread I wonder if this paragraph is necessary or overkill. I love my daughter - it stays.
So how do we increase thoughtfulness in schools? Slow down! Teachers, take a breath once in a while and maybe sacrifice that next sentence in favor of a carefully thought-out, more effective sentence. And then let your students do the same - wait ten seconds for an answer....and then wait another ten. Build the expectation that thought trumps speed. Look for that student who has the inner wheels turning rather than the kid throwing her hand in the air every time you stop talking.
And in life? How do we develop our own thoughtfulness, society's thoughtfulness? Same way - slow down. Ponder instead of pontificate. Review before you react. Give an audience to those who speak with thought, remove it from those who don't. Vote for thinkers instead of yakkers. Be assertive and point out a lack of thinking when someone displays it (in a respectful way, of course...and maybe from a safe distance away). All the innovation and grit and effort and moxie in the world won't do any of us much good if we are unable to precede those traits with at least a little bit of thoughtfulness.
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