Dad's Words of Wisdom

It's been several weeks since I last posted a blog.  One might think those weeks have been used creating an original, knock-your-socks-off kind of post.  One would be wrong.  I am, instead, shamelessly copying an idea from someone else's blog....and pretty much making very little effort to even make mine better.

Several months ago a close friend who happens to be a teaching colleague and fellow blogger posted a collection of advice she felt her three daughters needed to hear.  Her blog posts are always well worth the read, and this one was no different.  Having three daughters myself I read her words of wisdom with a careful and thoughtful eye, all the while wondering what kinds of things I would tell my own girls in a similar post.  In fact, that was the thought I couldn't shake after reading the list of advice - what would I say to my girls?  What do I know that they need to know?  What words of wisdom do I have that could save them time, trouble, or heartache?

I've been answering that question all summer long, pondering knowledge nuggets and jotting down ideas for this ultra-important endeavor created specifically for the three most important people in my life.  As it stands my list is not nearly exhaustive as that other list.  And, ok, some of my advice is steeped more in opinion than fact.  But be reminded that I never set out to change the world with this advice - my only goal was to make my girls' lives a little bit better than mine.  And now, Dad's Words of Wisdom:

1.  Advice and opinions offered to you freely are worth every penny you spend on them.  Seek advice from trusted sources.  Beware advice you haven’t asked for.  Ignore opinions.

2.  Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.  If you don’t need to do it today, don’t.  You’re gonna be busy today doing all that stuff you didn’t do yesterday.

3.  Eat the small chips first – you’ll consume less calories with each one so you can eat more without feeling guilty or unhealthy.  Apply the same principle to cookies.

4.  Kindness isn’t always easy but it is always worth it.  Unless you overdo it.  Be kind too much and it becomes expected, and let’s face it – being kind can get exhausting.  Eventually you will have to do unkind things to drive others away.  So in the end, kindness leads to loneliness.  Be unkind from the git-go and splash in a little random kindness to keep people guessing and on the periphery of your life.  There, that’s your wisdom for this one.

5.  The women on TV are fake.  The actresses – fake.  The newswomen – fake.  The singers – fake.  All of them have been painted and primped and stripped of who they really are.  Don’t ever desire to be just like any pretty face you see on TV.  But don’t try to be like the ugly faces, either.  Nobody wants to be ugly.  Just be you.  Always.

6.  Dad is done changing diapers.  Forever.  If you and a husband decide to have kids of your own someday I’ll be more than happy to care for them from time to time.  But not until those things are housebroken.  End of discussion.

7.  Your kids will think the music you like now is awful.  They will be right - it is awful.  Your kids will be just as musically intelligent as your dad.

8.  Talent is less important than desire.  However, desire is not a substitute for talent.  Effort outranks them both.  If you want something, work for it.  If you think you have the talent to do something, work for it.  If you don’t have the necessary talent, work harder.

9.  Daniel Craig is hands-down the best James Bond and it's not even close.  There have been 26 Bond movies made since 1962.  Skip the first 22 and start with 2006’s Casino Royale.  You have just saved at least two days of your life.  You’re welcome.

10.  You are what you eat, so - if you join a tribe of cannibals make sure you get in line early at mealtimes and do your best to get a helping of brains as often as possible.  Avoid the rump roast.

11.  Zombies can be killed, but only with a head shot.  Sure, you can slow them down a little with hits to the extremities or torso but you can only finish them with a shot to the head.  I know, it’s a heavy subject.  I’m sorry.  I only want you to be safe.  And a good shot.

12.  Choose substance over style.  This kind of relates to the fake pretty people on TV – beware of fake pretty people and things in everyday life.  Learn to look past the packaging, the sound bites, the make-up, the window dressing and focus instead on the value held beneath all of the stuff on the outside.  Fabricated outer beauty is, many times, a ruse to hide inner problems.

13.  Choose your friends carefully.  Hold on to those who prove worthy of the choice.  Discreetly dispose of those who don’t.  Make sure to thoroughly wash your hands afterward.

14.  Things are never so bad that they can’t get worse.  You will have bad days, sometimes bad weeks.  They will pass.  And they will return.  And sometimes they will be worse than your last bad days.  But somewhere someone is having a worse day than you, and that thought should bring joy to your heart.

And that's it.  That's all I've got.  Four-plus decades on this planet and that's the sum and total of my accumulated knowledge.  No, it's ok - you can feel sorry for my girls.  They've been told that a lot...usually after the DNA tests come back.

Thanks for reading.  Feel free to comment if any of my advice stirred a reaction.  Or if you have a word or two of advice to add to the list.  Or if you've got nothing better to do.  Until next time....enjoy your day.